I just returned from a place where I was working with a new church start from one of the “confessional” churches… one of those that, by and large, practices a formal liturgy. In this case, the church had relaxed the liturgy a bit, but to those not raised in a smells-and-bells church, even their relaxed liturgy was a lot.
I showed them the “Mr. Bean Goes to Church” bit. I tried to explain that, even though their version of liturgy seemed like liturgy-lite to them, someone with limited or no church experience like Mr. Bean would be pretty confused and perhaps even embarrassed.
They really didn’t seem to be buying it when it struck me. I asked if anyone had been to a Pentecostal/Holiness church and a couple people raised their hands. They shared that they were “nervous,” “frightened,” and “confused,” and none of them wanted to go back.
That’s very much how it feels for someone who’s never been to church … or never been even to an informal liturgical worship service, let alone a formal one. (A Pentecostal who’s never missed a Sunday service in their life might feel the same!)
I was checking out of my hotel the next morning when the cheery Gen-X desk clerk made a spiritual conversation opening. “So, what brought you to town?” I told her which church I was working with. “Ever heard of it?” She shook her head and I replied, “Well, that’s why I was there!” She asked what kind of church it was and I told her the brand affiliation. “My grandparents went to that kind of church.” Then she confided, “But I’ve never been to church.” She shared a bit about her lack of church experience and asked some telling questions.
The long and short of it was, she asked if she would be welcome.
It caught me off guard. On the one hand, the church members were friendly and nice. On the other hand, if this woman showed up the next Sunday she’d be just as lost and uncomfortable as Mr. Bean – or a lifelong church member who shared their experience at a Pentecostal prayer and worship service.
I passed her name and contact information on to the pastor, but not without some hesitation. What if she showed up, her experience was “Huh?!?”, and she decided that that’s what church is like … and never went back anywhere? That’s not an unlikely scenario … it happens more regularly than most well churched folk surmise. How many times have you voluntarily returned to that Pentecostal or Liturgical or Foreign Language or weird brand of church where you were confused or frightened or embarrassed?
Question: How would you make a liturgical service more guest-friendly without watering down the liturgy? Share your thoughts in the Comments section below.
I know the devil doesn’t need an advocate, but I would like to think through this with you. I play guitar in a fairly modern sounding church band. Most of our music is current and on the radio. But I grew up with the liturgy – both high church and liturgy light so I’m familiar with both.
I’m also a discipleship advocate and am just wondering? If outsiders got to know me because I started forming a genuine relationship with them, maybe I worked with them one on one or they started getting connected to my liturgical church through a small group or something, would there really be as much discomfort with the liturgy? Wouldn’t the person want to get to know my churches particular type of worship because they had already gotten to know me? Plus I’d be connect to them in such a way that I could teach them what’s going on etc. I’d imagine most outsiders are uncomfortable with church no matter the style. Wouldn’t they already expect to be in a place that’s new to them? If they don’t know Jesus at all, many of his stories are going to be foreign to guests too. They have to learn about them at some point. But we don’t change Jesus’ stories or teachings just to make people comfortable. Instead, we teach them about it. Why not with the liturgy too?
Let me clarify that I’m not against high, formal, or informal liturgy. I enjoy the middle forms, when I know what’s going on. So this isn’t about liturgy bashing – it’s about being serious regarding less-churched visitors.
Your scenario is a good one to look at, as are your thoughts. Let’s suppose, for a moment, that your church practices either semi-formal or a higher liturgy at their worship service/s. Let’s also suppose that your church is like 85% of all US churches … it’s either in decline or else its plateaued (a politically correct term meaning “We’ve stalled out and are about to go into a dive”). Let’s also suppose that the members in your church are like the vast majority of church members in the US … they’ve already invited all their “friends” to church over the years and rarely have a significant relationship with an unchurched person. You, on the other hand, are one of a handful of members and staff who actively seeks out those beyond the church walls. That being the case, realistically, in one year how many people will you be able to effectively build relationships with and walk them through the process you’ve outlined? Let’s be charitable and make it five who walk the whole process with you. And let’s give your church a better than average First-Time Retention Rate (national average is approximately 15%) … we’ll say 60% … so three of your five remain. My guess is that the church will probably loose more members than that each year to death, relocation, and attrition … even if there are others on staff committed to a similar process. (ALthough it strikes me, how are you/they going to sit with them to explain all this while simultaneously leading worship? – just sayin’.) All that’s to say, it’s unlikely that the church will remain sustainable for the long haul, especially as the “Always Churched” and the “Mostly Always Churched” generations pass on … and those two generations make up the vast majority of today’s churches with only a few of the “Coming back to church after many years” and the “Church? Huh?” generation showing up – and fewer staying.
If a congregation wants to maintain a liturgical service (or a less-liturgical traditional service) they should do so using one of two options. (1) They understand that they are opting for hospice care and they make an intentional decision to leave a significant financial/real estate legacy to their denomination when they draw near to their last breath; or (2) They make a serious investment in a pre-Christian-friendly alternative worship service that is scheduled at whatever day and hour when a first-time guest might wander in (i.e., Sunday at 11ish). Then if someone wants to try and walk a guest into the more liturgical worship service they can do so … but it won’t take months to acclimate someone to getting ready to worship in what could be likened to a foreign language.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Thanks. I hope I didn’t come across as accusing you of liturgy bashing. If so, not my intention at all.
I am curious, is it just impossible or highly unlikely to assume that people who have already invited their non church friends, and don’t have any more, just can’t learn to find new ones? What if the leaders are “equipping the saints” for that very purpose? Surely, a large number of those who haven’t retired yet have co workers they aren’t all that buddy buddy with and who still don’t know Jesus? They could equipped or disciples to befriend them, right?
Anything is possible. But as a church leader, I wouldn’t count on it … not at first. Here’s what I see happen over and over. A church stagnates. Everyone that anyone knows has been invited (or at least that’s the excuse). Then the church gets a new pastor (either a new person or the pastor they have is “renewed”) and the pastor takes evangelism/church growth seriously. S/he gets out into the community and starts meeting new people … lots of new people (we recommend 5 new contacts every day). When that happens, new people start coming to church. If the congregation has been faithful in offering welcoming, guest-friendly, hospitality and connections, then the new people return. And lo! They bring their friends … who bring their friends … and suddenly the church is growing. It takes awhile, but if the pastor keeps spending significant time networking (50 percent of their work week or more) and new people keep coming and staying, then after some months of this the “old” congregation will begin to get excited and suddenly discover there are people they haven’t invited (either ever or lately).
That’s the only way I’ve seen long-term members get serious about inviting. But notice, it starts with the pastor … the pastor doing it, not just telling or training or cajoling the congregation into doing it.
And so, how do we get everything done that needs doing with 50% of our time (which I think is a good idea btw) networking?
If “we” is the pastor of the church, then “we” get what needs to be done by (1) being crystal clear what needs to be done, and (2) giving as much of it away as possible to the members of the congregation, since what needs to be done is rarely only something the pastor must do.