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What’s Up
Most people don’t want to come to church. That’s not cynicism, that’s reality. Inviting people to church just because we wish they’d show up isn’t strategy … it’s wishful thinking.
So What
The truth is, almost everyone who wanted to be in church last Sunday was already there. Everyone else didn’t want to be. So if your growth plan depends on your members inviting their friends to church, you’re already stuck. Why? Because nobody’s waiting for an invitation. They’re waiting for something valuable. Something that matters to them. People don’t say yes to what’s good for your church … they say yes to what’s good for them.
The Point Is
1. Value Wins Every Time
People only show up for what they believe adds value to their lives. Church and worship doesn’t make that list for most unchurched folks. But their calendar’s full of things that do … concerts, workshops, sports, and kids’ events. Until your church offers something they perceive as equally valuable, your invitations will keep landing in voicemail.
2. Build the Bridge Before the Ask
Stop inviting people to church and start inviting them to something that fills a need in their life – preferably to something that will solve one of life’s problems they’ve been losing sleep over. When a church offers a family dinner, a parenting workshop, or a community event that actually serves people’s needs, it earns the right to relationship. And relationships open doors church invitations never could.
3. Make the Handout Count
That said, the magic isn’t so much in the event, it’s in the follow-through. Smart churches use “hand-off events” that connect naturally to sermon series or small group opportunities. You’re not selling church attendance … you’re offering next steps that build trust, meet needs, and move people closer to Jesus.
And … ?
I worked with a church whose leaders all said the same thing: “I’ve invited all my friends, and they’re not interested.” Duh. Their friends weren’t avoiding them – they were avoiding a Sunday morning experience that didn’t seem relevant to their lives.
But this same church sat next to the town’s only movie theater. So they got creative. They hosted a “Dinner and a Movie” night and $15 covered a nice dinner, movie tickets, and childcare. The twist? While the parents were in the theater watching the movie, the childcare wasn’t babysitting. It was high-energy, faith-centered fun. The kids went home with crafts, and the parents left with something even more valuable: An invitation to a short, practical sermon series called The Guys’ Guide to Relationship Sanity.
Here’s why it worked. It wasn’t about filling pews: It was about meeting people where they lived. It was about helping families build healthier marriages and better lives. The dinner and movie drew them in. The series kept them coming back. And before long, guests became attenders … attenders became participants … and participants started becoming disciples.
That’s what happens when you stop asking people to do something for you and start offering something meaningful and valuable for them. When churches shift from “come to our thing” to “here’s something that can help you,” everything changes. People stop saying no. Conversations start happening. Relationships grow.
Want to know what the real genius is? They didn’t stop after one win. They already had the next value event lined up before the first one ended. Each step pointed forward. Each connection had a clear, intentional next step. That’s how momentum works. That’s how discipleship starts.
Action!
Stop inviting people to church and start building value-driven connections that actually reach them. Join me for the Stop Inviting People to Church 3-Day Challenge (October 28–30) and discover how to turn real relationships into real growth. Register now.
